Well, I had a chance to chat with poker’s “Senior Ambassador,” “Oklahoma Johnny” Hale recently, and if this personable elder statesman told fish stories rather then Las Vegas stories I am sure he would have caught Moby Dick and a giant squid on the same fishing trip. I also know that the stories Johnny generously shares are loaded with his wisdom and they’re entertaining to boot.
The conversation begin with Johnny informing me that he is no longer associated with “Card Player Magazine” since the management of the periodical recently offended most of the poker world by throwing its weight around as the only poker print game in town. As I understand it, they have raised their advertising rates by a factor of four so most of the smaller advertisers can no longer afford their rates. We will see if this business move has any impact on the poker print press market. My money says we will soon see some new competition for Card Player. All of that advertising revenue is looking for a new, affordable home.
“Oklahoma Johnny” took the time to tell some great stories about women, lawyers and poker. He gave me a copy of his book, “Gentleman Gambler,” which reads like a good blog, divided into bite sized short stories complete with exaggeration and hyperbole that makes for a great read. I can’t do justice to his story telling, but I will relate one of his stories just the same.
My early days in Vegas:
When I first moved out here, back in the 60’s it was because my first wife, a moral paragon, was fed up with my gambling ways and had asked for a divorce. I quickly agreed it was for the best (by this time we had gotten rich and had a large home where we lived on opposite ends, rarely seeing each other). I told her we didn’t need a lawyer for this, we could divide everything up fair and plain. She agreed but then talked to some of her rich friends and they told her she needed a lawyer, so a lawyer she got. Now, this lawyer said he wanted $4,000 for the divorce paperwork and even though I thought this was a little steep I paid him. I waited a couple of weeks and never heard a word from the lawyer so I called him and the fellow told me that the paper work was done but due to the size of our holdings $4,000 wasn’t enough, now it’s $20,000. I tell him, it’s the same paperwork, and he says yes it is but he still needs the 20 thousand. So I think on it for a second and tell him, “Give me five minutes, I need to make a call” so I quickly hang up. Well, I sit there for about five minutes watching the clock and then call him back. I say, “Well, sir, since I’m now in Vegas I’m going to send ‘Tommy and Jimmy’ out this Friday on an airplane and they will negotiate your fees and try to resolve this,” and then I hung up. I didn’t talk to that lawyer again: but, I got a call the next day from state chairman of the Democratic Party, an acquaintance of the lawyer trying to rip me off. He said that the lawyer had reconsidered and $4,000 was just fine and I should tell ‘Tommy and Jimmie’ to stay in Vegas. Oklahoma Johnny continued to entertain us with his love for lawyers and ended the conversation when he asked me, “If I knew when a lawyer would go to heaven?” Of course I said I didn’t so he answered his own question with, “When there’s no more room in Hell for another lawyer.”