HAPPY HOLIDAY’S FROM THE POKER PROF’S CREW + THE NINES

Six story Christmas tree at Caesar’s Palace decorated with 222,000 lights.

Twas the Night Before Christmas in the Poker Room

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the poker room,
Not much was moving, quiet as a tomb,
The chip racks were stacked on the side in a row,
Hoping some good luck would fill them with dough;

The players were sitting hunched in their seats,
Telling their tales of all the bad beats,
The dealer looked at me and ask,
Do you plan to bet or will you pass?

From out in the casino I heard a shout,
I jumped from the two seat to see what was about,
And what to my surprise did appear,
A fat guy drinking a bottle of beer,

He came into the room all in a bustle,
No one guessed it might be a hustle,
He slid into the six seat and yelled for a rack,
Then looked around and said, “I’ll leave when I’ve filled my sack,”

Through the air the cards did fly,
Lady Luck had blessed this red suited guy,
He played every hand never folding a one,
The outcome was always the same, he won and won,

When he had taken most of our chips,
He said I’m going to give you some poker tips,
I’ve played them all, the good and the great,
And let me tell you I can relate,

I’ve sat across from Hellmuth, Luske and Chan,
Brunson, Nguyen, even a guy called Fossilman,
They remind me of a boxer with a glass jaw,
They can’t even play me to a draw,

Now please excuse me, I really must go,
I gotta make a stop at the Bellagio,
I left my Mercedes in their valet,
Don’t look so surprised, I traded the sleigh.

I hope you all have a very prosperous year,
I’ll be back next Christmas to play right here,
Maybe you should read a poker book or two,
The way you play you don’t have a clue,

Under you’re pillow tomorrow you must look,
That’s where I’ll leave your copy of Brunson’s book.
And with that he turned and walked away,
Have a Very Merry Christmas Day!

I hope you enjoy our effort at a little Holiday humor. The Las Vegas poker scene is a great place to spend some of your holiday time, play poker, relax and make some new friends. Crowds fill the poker tables, even on Christmas eve. The festive atmosphere has taken over the city and will continue to build to a fever pitch for New Year’s Eve. Consider giving yourself a special holiday present and come on down to Vegas.

Las Vegas parties everyday of the year; so, we decided it would be a good idea to offer a list of ways to know it’s Christmas in Vegas. This week’s Nines…

9. Instead of an olive your martini has a sugar plum.
8. All the food at the Circus Circus buffet is red or green. No, wait, that’s normal.
7. Big Red sleigh in valet parking.
6. Frosty the Snowman hitting on the cocktail girls.
5. Downtown Vegas decorated as giant lump of coal.
4. Hotel security dressed as nutcrackers.
3. Elves playing the slots.
2. The coffee shop daily special… roasted reindeer.
1. Santa playing No Limit Hold’em in the card room!

Have a Safe & Happy Holiday!